Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The Tired Entertainer

Am feeling very frustrated today. Dunno why. Just feel very tired and unhappy, easily irritable today... *sigh* I don't wish to do anything, except maybe to stay at home to sleep the whole day. But I can't. I've to send my boy and maid to my mum's place later. I've to pump later. I've to go to school to teach later. I've tons of things to do in school. I've to cook dinner tonight. I've to entertain my church acquaintances, who are coming to my place tonight. I've to be a clown the whole day. I've to be a pleaser. I have to laugh. I have to smile. I've to pretend. I've to keep my spirits up the whole day. I'm not always happy or cheerful. There are days when I'm really down. Nobody knows. Nobody detects it. Nobody's listening. I hide it so well. I'm tired. I don't want to do anything. I just feel like retreating to a corner to cry. And anyone that irritates me, or steps on my toes, will be snapped by me. I have my shield but behind the shield, I'm jelly. It's 9.40 a.m. now. It's about time. I need to get changed. I need to put on my clown suit. I need to leave my house soon. I need to carry on with my duties. I need to stop dwelling.

The crowd is waiting. The curtains are drawn. The show is about to begin...

8 comments:

wanqi said...

JIA YOU tired mummy. :>
Keep your spirit up ok

linda said...

This is what made you so special....Annie.
But do have your own personal time...sometimes u need William to do all the work too you know. hehe.
Dont get burn out....go out and have your own fun. You deserve it. cheers.

Dadaluff said...

Totally understand what u mean... it's normal to feel down or fall sick after the festive season... Chin up, gal! All will be better soon...

xiaoci_mama said...

Cheer up babe! Think of the smiles from ur two kiddoes when they see u after sch and u will feel better.
Next time when u feel down again, come to my table. I give u a hug. :)

blisstan said...

It is definitely not easy to be a multi-tasking person. No need to push yourself too hard if you really need a short break. Slight adjustment can always be made.
Stay positive still. :)
Take care of your physical and emotional health, ok?
Hugz... :)

kkf said...

nice mummy, why you feeling so down??

actually i m feeling very fustrated recently too. :(
struggling with breastmilk (pathetic amt), taking care of 2 kids (Now i noe how not easy!), caring for myself (confinement never really do well so here pain there pain...stitiches pain...womb pain...back pain) etc. sigh...

Think there are times we really feel tired and need a rest so that we can continue with the long road ahead.

Cherish said...

Tiredmummy, cheer up!! Life is like a show. We try to put up new faces for different people everyday. It's tiring! Be yourself! If you feel like not laughing or smiling, then don't..You don't have to please everybody who comes your way. Take off the mask and be yourself.

Clare's Mummy said...

Annie,

Cheer up k? I can imagine the frustration. I could hardly cope last year too.

Always turn to God for comfort k? He is our fortress always. =)

God bless!