Spending Time With Your Kids

During the weekends, we always try to bring the children out of the house to do something fun. I'm one who strongly feels that weekend should be spent together with the family, which must include the children.

For us, during weekdays, we see so little of the children. We only get to see Phoebe for about 15 minutes in the morning before she's being sent to the school by school bus. Reuben wakes up at about 9 a.m. and I'll usually see him for about 2 hours before going to work. In the evening, by the time the children reach home, we'll only see them for about 3 hours before they're send to bed. So technically, we only interact with the children for about 3 to 4 hours during a weekday. That is so little of the time as compared to us spending at least 7-10 hours in our work place! Hence, to me, weekend must be spent with the children.

In fact, during the weekdays, I always stress that we must spend time with the children at night before they go to bed. If there is any work to be done, or any leisure activity such as surfing the net, it should be done when the children are already asleep. That also explains why I usually use the computer late at night. I don't want to use the family hours to do my own things.

I often feel very irritated when I hear people saying that they would spent an hour or two reading newspaper, playing computer games, surfing the net or watching video/TV at the expense of spending time with their children. These people may argue that they also need time for themselves. I do agree with them. However, the children are already seeing so little of us because of our work, why can't we just give them our time and attention? As parents, I always believe that we have to sacrifice a little of our own personal time for our children. That's how we can monitor their progress, learning development, their time spent in our absence and their school work. If you want to spend time playing computer games, then do not complain that your child doesn't know how to read or write or perform certain skills.

I always believe that you'll reap what you sow. If you do not sow in your children's life, do you expect them to reap much? To the people who wants to have time for themselves daily in the expense of their children, I always question them, "Then why do you want to have kids?" To me, if you want to have kids, you need to spend time with them. It is easy to bear children, but to raise them up and nuture them, it takes much more time and effort. Bring the children out, to places that will interest them, to places that they can learn and experience what the books cannot give them, and not shopping trips all the time. I may sound very harsh, but being in the teaching profession for a decade has made me seen all sorts of parents - the lazy ones and the nurturing ones. The ones who are nuturing will see the results not just in the children's academic performance. The overall outlook and behaviour of the children will also be more refined.

I'm not a perfect mother, we're not perfect parents. But we try. My hubby reads to Phoebe and she enjoys it very much. He thinks of places where we can bring the children to, to engage them in meaningful activities. I appreciate the fact that he is a loving father who thinks of the children all the time. How many fathers will actually go to John Little sale during lunch time to buy clothes for their children? He has to dig through the piles of clothes, together with the rest of the aunties, to select the best design and size for his two children. I often teased him that his actions are very auntie-liked and I even called him 'Mr Auntie' because he buys clothes, diapers, lotion, shower foam, shampoo, toothpaste and even tooth brush for his darlings, and which, all of these duties are usually performed by aunties. But deep down inside, I appreciate the fact that he is a good father, a family man. He may have his flaws, like being lazy sometimes, being kiasu, a little male chauvinistic and less romantic but to the children, they love their papa. Most importantly, they know that papa loves them because he loves them with his actions and time, not just with his kisses and hugs.

Raising children is not just the responsibility of the mommy. It's also the father. Father is the head of the family. If the family is not spending much time with the children, then it is very difficult for the mother to bring the best out of the children. My advice to these lazy parents are : Do not complain if your children are not able to perform as well as their peers because you are not able to perform as well as the other children's parents.

**This entry is not targetting at any blogger-mommies in my loop and blog list because I know that all these blogger mommies are very hardworking. They all deserve a lot of pats on their backs! (^_^)